Conversation on L.A. to a N.Y. Transplant

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The pace is slower,

“chill” or “laidback”, as we say.

Relax a little.

Get back to your wheels.

Metro gets ya ’round but

is decent at best.

Cabbies exist here-

just in downtown and Westwood,

though you can’t hail them-

“What the hell!”, you say.

I know…

…and then there’s the pizza

It ain’t the same pie

so fu-fu fancy,

barbequed chicken and all-


But you’ll love the sun

All year-round. Seasons are void.

Get some major SPF.

Yeah, pretentious types

spread like canker soars

throughout the city.

The Hollywood wannabes

really test your nerves.

Get used to them.

And let me tell ya,

Hollywood is Hollyweird

Yeah…seedy as hell!

Well… it’s tryin’

to get glorious and chic

But the drugs and whores…

Santa Monica

is where to go for nightlife.

Stay clear of Venice-

well, not completely.

Get good pie on the pier

before sundown there.

You’ll have Manhattan

It is just as expensive

here along the shore.

Sorry but bars close

usually at 2 AM.

Get sober early.

You still got Macy’s

Sak’s Fifth Ave and Barney’s here

to spend your bennies.

and still you will have

freakin’ traffic dusk to dawn

that’ll yank your chain.

But quit complainin’!

You’re in sunny freakin’ Cali.

Shut up already!

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