The pace is slower,
“chill” or “laidback”, as we say.
Relax a little.
Get back to your wheels.
Metro gets ya ’round but
is decent at best.
Cabbies exist here-
just in downtown and Westwood,
though you can’t hail them-
“What the hell!”, you say.
I know…
…and then there’s the pizza
It ain’t the same pie
so fu-fu fancy,
barbequed chicken and all-
Fuhgeddaboutit!
But you’ll love the sun
All year-round. Seasons are void.
Get some major SPF.
Yeah, pretentious types
spread like canker soars
throughout the city.
The Hollywood wannabes
really test your nerves.
Get used to them.
And let me tell ya,
Hollywood is Hollyweird
Yeah…seedy as hell!
Well… it’s tryin’
to get glorious and chic
But the drugs and whores…
Santa Monica
is where to go for nightlife.
Stay clear of Venice-
well, not completely.
Get good pie on the pier
before sundown there.
You’ll have Manhattan
It is just as expensive
here along the shore.
Sorry but bars close
usually at 2 AM.
Get sober early.
You still got Macy’s
Sak’s Fifth Ave and Barney’s here
to spend your bennies.
and still you will have
freakin’ traffic dusk to dawn
that’ll yank your chain.
But quit complainin’!
You’re in sunny freakin’ Cali.
Shut up already!
